i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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