Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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