she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
