loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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