i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
