The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I had to cum in my sink.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
