worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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