Do vagina's smell?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
