I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
