Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
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