That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
