low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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