we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
