I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
