party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
