i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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