I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
