Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
