You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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