WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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