I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
