they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
