Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
