this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
