Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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