some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
