If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It's shark week go big or go home
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
