Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
well most of my day revolves around power hour
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
