If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
