so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize