So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
