He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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