After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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