He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
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