maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
