I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
