One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
