He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
