Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
