your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
