so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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