And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
