...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
