imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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