shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
