went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
