Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize