I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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