why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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