You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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