It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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