how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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