shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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