The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
