I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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