margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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