In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
